First and foremost, I felt the mini-stink move. I didn't know what it was at first because I obviously had nothing to compare it to. It happened last Wednesday as I was lying down in bed. I turned to get comfortable on my left side and felt this strange little wiggle in my lower left abdomen. What was that? I tossed myself back and forth and poked on the belly to see if I could replicate the movement...but nothing. Ok. Maybe I am imagining things. The next day I briefly mentioned the sensation to a very pregnant co-worker, and she excitedly exclaimed that I was feeling the baby. Oh, wow! So, now I know. I felt the same movement on 2 different occasions after lunch that day...and each day since I have felt it. I like it. It lets me know the little butter ball is in there and growing. Everyone says that it feels like butterflies. But not to me. When I think of butterflies, I think of that awful anxious, pit-in-the-stomach feeling. I am not sure what to compare this feeling to other than gas bubbles in the tub hitting you on your buttocks or legs (gross, I know). The sensation is so soft and ticklish and like nothing (other than gas bubbles apparently) I've felt before. Keep up on a wiggling you little wiggle worm...Momma likes it!
I also got to have a little meet and greet session with the baby on Friday. I love ultrasounds. The baby has grown so much. The arms and legs are long; the feet, toes, hands, and fingers are developed.
My mom went with me since Naeners could not get off from work. I didn't find out the sex. I couldn't do that without the hubby being present. When the ultrasound tech was scanning the nether regions, I closed my eyes. My mom said she tried to look but couldn't distinguish what was going on down there. I asked the ultrasound tech to write down the sex and place it in a sealed envelope. She did. We haven't peeked, yet. I don't really have the desire to do so. Naeners said he hasn't torn into the envelope because he doesn't want me to get upset or mad. I think some of my hormonal rages have scared him into submission (and that could be a very good thing or a bad thing...I'll let you know later.). The most important thing to me is that we got the news that everything is perfect and developing as it should be. I am just becoming more and more curious as to who and what this person will be like...I can't wait to meet him/her!
Ultrasound - 19w4d
The envelope and The belly
BOY OR GIRL?
Later that night, after I had an emotional tear fest at a free show in Durham (I started crying because the song was so beautiful, and I realized my baby could probably hear the music and every thing had went so well at the OB appointment), Naeners and I went out to have some Thai food. Yea. Bad idea. Apparently, the baby doesn't like spicy food. Or maybe is was soured coconut milk in my order. Whatever the hell it was, it knocked my off my feet all day Saturday. I was sick as a dog. I mean SICK! I vomited and did other stuff, too. The couch was my friend. It was like being hungover but without the fun of getting drunk. No more of spicy food for me...at least not anytime soon.
20 weeks pregnant
And finally, if I look disheveled in all of my "weekly" pictures, it's because I am. I take these pictures on Monday evening as soon as I get home from work. I am not saying that I look any better in the morning because my hair is always a hot mess, but I am hoping that it is true that I do look worse for the wear by 6:00 in the evening.
I was looking through my 20 week photos, and I thought to myself, "Egads! Is that what I look like? Is that what people see when they look at me?" I could not help but notice my stringy unattended hair and my terrible make-up not covering my puffy and dark-circled eyes.
After I looked at the photos closely and really did not like what I saw, I hopped in my little car and headed to Wal-Mart and then Ulta. "I must get new make-up NOW" was my thought. Yea. I didn't. I spent an hour looking at products and then proceeded to storm out of the store teary-eyed thinking, "This is the beginning of the end. My looks are all down hill from here." (Hormones, maybe? Or just plain crazy?)
It is so weird because some days I feel so beautiful in my ever-changing body...I love the curves and the glow. And other days, I just see a hideous land beast when I look at myself. I did take some time that night to think about my changing looks. I did hit up Wal-Mart again today and invested in some make-up while I was in a calm, rational state. I also contacted a old good friend and asked her for some help in the hair department. I realized that my body is changing...and that is okay. But I do need to take some time to invest in myself so that I feel good and feel as if I look my personal best. Everyone needs a little pampering, and sometimes it takes seeing a hideous picture to realize it is needed sooner rather than later.